When your child says "If I were murdered..." and its a good thing!

Ya, startling title huh... well, that's how I felt when my 10 year old daughter said it. Some background... a little girl, age 8, named Sandra Cantu was kidnapped and murdered last month. She disappeared from her mobile home park and her neighbor, mom of her friend, and sunday school teacher is now facing charges for her murder, with "special circumstances" which I will not repeat. The news has been, of course, all over the story and after a couple weeks the saturation coverage has eased a little. Not something I like my kiddo hearing about constantly.

So, why that statement? The news was discussing the large number of people that came out to try to find the girl and the thousands of people that came out to a public memorial for the girl. My daughter's complete remark was "If I were murdered, a WHOLE bunch of people would help find me. I mean ... all of NASA [the car club, not the space organization], LOTS of runners, people from the flight club, my aunts and uncles and gradmas and grandpas, my friends and all of the people at the Y. A lot of people love me."

While the thought of my daughter thinking about being murdered is not at all pleasant. I'm very glad that she knows that she is loved by many, many people. She deserves it. I hope and pray that she will never, ever, have to experience the proof of that love in that way.

A slow recovery...

not that my recovery is going all that slow. Physician Assistant says everything is going fine with my recovery. And that I can run again now. But now heavy lifting and no sit ups (I'm broken hearted, really). Got that news yesterday, 1 week after having my gall bladder removed.

Those who know me.. would expect me to be running in an instant.. but I don't want to yet. I walked a couple miles around the track today as the rest of my run team ran. And that was OK. Debating where I will run Thursday... I think I'll do it on the treadmill (not exactly the BEST thing in the world, don't like treadmills) so I can be in a controlled environment in case I'm not as good as I hope. [ Speaking of treadmills, did you hear about the treadmill NASA named after Steven Colbert? Cool huh? He seemed thrilled.]

My friends all say I must not be feeling right yet if I don't WANT to run. They're right... surgery takes a heck of a lot more out of a person that I had thought. Then again, I didn't know what to think. I am tender around the various x-holes in my abdomen. I think I'll be OK. I'm just in uncharted territory right now. Gonna take it slow and not F it up. (Please ignore the fact that I've been back at work for 2 days and have already put in OT again.)

In other news, my convalescence let me read the Dragonrider series again (Dragon Flight, Dragon Quest and The White Dragon). I'll never forget reading The White Dragon in 6th grade and how all the other kids in my class thought I was lying when I said I was on page 300something when they were reading 75 page books.

I also watched a couple Deadliest Catch "marathons". Sorta makes a difference when you watch a couple seasons worth of a show in a couple days.. you learn more about the people involved. The new season of Deadliest Catch started tonight. It looks good. I'm surprised Capt'n Phil decided to not go out with Cornelia Marie... he really must have hurt bad with that blood clot thing. Maybe him not going out with the fleet is similar to me not leaping back into running. Scared and mortal. That's me and Capt'n Phil. We're like that :)

The Alaska Experiment also looks interesting. Makes me want to go survive in the wild. But after my experience becoming one of the Frozen Chosen, I know I don't like being bone cold for more than a couple minutes at a time. Reminds me of wanting to blog about "Type E" personalities. That will have to be another day. For now... to bed with me.

And sometimes it is good...

Thursday I went for a run at Rancho San Antonio open space park with some of my friends. This time the fast guys got there first and started before I got there.. so my 'slower' friends waited for me. The three of us ran and talked and ran. Then I got to show them a different route to run .. one that goes over a different big hill, with a different view of the San Francisco bay and a different meadow where turkeys and deer were browsing in the afternoon sun. We ran about 5 miles.. and when we finished we felt good, not too tired (though it was not an easy route) and not too fresh. That perfect point of goodness you get every once in a while on a run.

And I felt like a runner again. And that was good.

Going to run at another of my favorite places tomorrow for 14 miles or so, with some more good friends... then breakfast and talking and hanging out. That will be good too.

About my siblings...

this is from an email... but this is worth putting on a blog for all the world to see....


Whenever I watch Hell's Kitchen I think of how Kelly would cook with the best of them and do it with a style, grace, humility and humor that would put the brats on that show to shame. And she's probably do it with Adora in one hand too! And whenever I think of Kelly I think how she took the path I initially traveled and improved on it 100 fold. I want to go back to school!

When I think of Chris I'm always reminded of the phrase "Physician Heal Thyself" and I see how chris is doing that every day and in the process being a wonderful father, excellent practitioner, expert in sarcasm, cool blogger and kick ass runner and I wonder how can I do that (ALL of it, except the father bit.. I have to be a mom)!

When I think of Sara I wonder how I managed to not get to know her as well as I want to now. I think of how Sara has succeeded in being a musician with a music related job and how she perseveres and doesn't take shit from anyone. And how I wish I could do that :)

And Rob, I will never forget changing your diapers Rob. But I wouldn't imagine doing it now. Rob brings me music and joy and pride again... I am always so happy to be around Rob and brag about what he does. I think of Rob's quiet side... I think we all have a quiet side. And I know Rob has the adventurous side too... and when I race I keep thinking if Rob ever trained he'd beat me soundly, and I wonder would that be so bad? Or would it be another reason to be proud.

When I think of Cathy I am so impressed and proud. When I struggle and research how to figure out growth rates I know that Cathy could explain to me what all this stuff really means. I remember challenging Cathy to get a C and find out she can survive getting a C. And now I think what a stupid challenge that was. The other day I was challenged by my friends to run in a different wave than my bib said I should. I did it, I wasn't struck by lightning, but it was just as uncomfortable. And I always smile when I remember when Cathy came out and told all of us about it in an email and told us all we will just have to deal with it. And then the unanimous response was so positive... that's what sibs are for.

And Tom... my god, you were four when I moved out, I remember having to wake you up to make sure you were breathing. And now you're working on nuclear submarines. And you always pitch in and help and care where every you are. I will never forget you helping us scrub our carpet before that BBQ.You've got attitude and humor and love.

And when I think of US.. the sibs.. I always get a little tear in my eyes. Tear of happiness and pride and longing for your company again. When you are the oldeset one of the disadvantages is leaving before the sibs grew up.. but that's how it had to be. In the mean time I am SO glad that we've been able to remain close via email, share challenges and adventures, and I cannot wait to spend time with you all in May. I love you guys and cannot imagine where I would be or what life would be like without you. Frankly I don't want to. I feel a bit sad that Katie won't know what life is like with a sibling.. but that's the way it is too. She has you all too, even Jeff does and HE loves it.

April Fool

I'm not feeling all that fool right now. But Happy First Day of April. I renewed my drivers license today and paid property taxes.. in a way doing both of those things on April 1st is somewhat appropriate.

What IS the point of this blog thing again?